two of my least favorite assholes on the planet
OMG… today at school I asked to use the bathroom because i HATE MATH CLASS!! and im wasting time and after 5 minutes of taking selfies and blogging on my tumblr blog my teacher walks into the bathroom and says “What are you doing?” And I accidentally said “None of your business, Cumberbitch!” and he stood there shocked but then he said “Who do you ship?” and now we follow each other on tumblr!
this person thought out this story, sat down, typed it out, and then posted it on the internet
NO BUT YOU ALL NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW FUNNY THIS IS THEYRE LITERALLY FILLING A ROBOT WITH BULLETS, LIKE BULLETS THAT YOU FIRE FROM A GUN. NOW NORMALLY FIRING A GUN TRIGGERS THE BULLET TO EXPLODE CREATING A PRESSURE THAT CAUSES THE TIP OF THE BULLET TO BE FORCED OUT OF THE BARREL AT A HIGH SPEED.
WHaT CAVE JOHNSON’S TURRET’S DO IS LOAD A TON OF FUCKING BULLETS INTO THE CASE OF THE SENTRY LIKE IT”S A GODDAMN GUMBALL MACHINE AND THEN USE A FUcKIN SPRING LOADED PISTON TO FIRE IT THAT IS SO UNNECESSARY AND INEFFECTIVE LIKE NO WONDER CHELL CAN RESIST SO MANY BULLETS THE LIKELIHOOD ITD CAUSE ANYTHING MORE THAN A BAD BRUISE IS LIKE ONE IN A HUNDRED
no see what’s so funny about it is that when i asked you “why did the chicken cross the road?” you were thinking i was going to give you a funny answer, like maybe a pun or some other play on words. so that when i answered “to get to the other side” you were caught off guard because you got a simple answer that made perfect sense and did not try to use any kind of wordplay to make you laugh. the fact that you were expecting one kind of answer and got a completely different one is what makes it funny. this is how jokes work and are funny.
Anonymous asked: Hahahahahahahahaha using Wikipedia for facts? Unfollowed
Actually, Wikipedia holds much more merit than most give it, so please, do unfollow me for being so close minded. Click here to unfollow me too if you’re as thick-skulled as this anon is.
i love how aggressive the nowyoukno person is. not obnoxious at all.
THAT REAL SHIT
holy shit i only see these like incredibly rarely at my local places
man growing up i was told that marranitos were made with actual pigs. i think i cried once or twice while eating one because i felt so bad but they were so good
i thought regular gingerbread cookies were best cookies, but then i tried marranitos and then they became best cookie